the good grief

My best friend from school has been encouraging me to write a book for the best part of 30 years. Over the years, others in my world have said the same, especially since losing my sister Wendy to bowel cancer in 2013, aged 37. Living with grief is something it seems I can write about in a way others can relate to. I think to feel seen and know you're not alone helps everything not feel quite so awful. I know it helps me.

I was given my first opportunity to write publicly about grief by Mia Freedman, Co-founder of Mamamia. Mia didn't know it, but the day she asked me to write that piece, I was having lunch with my mum and dad to honour what would've been Wendy's 42nd birthday. Writing about living with grief came easily that day, it was all sitting so close to the surface. Mia encouraged me to continue writing. She spoke of my words being in the shape of someone else's wound.

I made it three chapters into writing my book and couldn't seem to write any more words. I stopped and figured I'd start again when the words came to me. I wanted the words to come as easily as they did for that piece Mia asked me to write.

That was eight years ago.

Last year I went to Italy for the first time, and while sitting on the long plane trip from Sydney, the layout of my book shifted and I started writing. I wrote about three school friends travelling to Italy to celebrate their 50th birthdays. They had meant to go for their 30th birthdays and then again for their 40th birthdays, but life happened, as it does, and they didn't make it.

Last year was also the year my sister Wendy would've been 50. Safe to say once again I've had a lot of feelings sitting under the surface ready to write about.

I would love for you to meet Oralia, Emerson and Anaiah.

Oralia

Oralia looks like she has the perfect life — happily married with two children, a boy and a girl. But she finds herself constantly battling an uncharacteristic, self-loathing monologue she can't escape from. What Oralia doesn't know yet, is that she is suffering badly with menopause symptoms. Hard relate.

Emerson

Emerson is single after not wanting a real relationship after her husband cheated on her. They didn't have children, something she is reconciling now it's too late. After being made redundant sent her self-worth spiralling, she created the business she needed — Oh Hello Meno. A gym for women at the same stage of life. Doctors who understand peri and meno. Everything women need under one roof. You know, the unicorn.

Anaiah

Anaiah was a beauty therapist who now runs a signature fragrance candle business. She is a single mother living with grief following the passing of her sister, Wendy. Yes, there is a lot of me in Anaiah — but because I found writing about me impossible, I needed to fictionalise the character while being able to share stories of grief. Some of which are mine, some of which belong to Anaiah.